Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
