that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
