do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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