I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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