Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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