you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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