do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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