Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
