Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
