You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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