Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
