You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
