i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
