he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize