he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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