id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
