Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
