I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
