I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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