Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
