is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Watching her eat just hurts me
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The air was thick with penises
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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