my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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