Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
