Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
