Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
