No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
