D3 body, D1 cock
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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