We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
