i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
