he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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