You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
