So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
