Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
