Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
