i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
