I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
