last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
