I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
