I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
In America we eat man semen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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