is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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