He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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