bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
