wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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