Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
last night I used snow as a chaser
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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