Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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