It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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