what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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