just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
did i just pee glitter
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
