i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
