I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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