just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize