I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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