she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
