I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
