wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
