I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
