I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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